Dear Dr. Enmiah,
Ok, I’ll say this right from the start; I am a server and I am white. I know that all white people probably say this, but I got lots of friends who are African American and I don’t think I am a racist by any means but I’ve been having a serious problem and I really need your help. This is my problem ok; I really don’t like waiting on African American people who come in the restaurant. Sometimes they are cool, but most of the time, they run me ragged and they barely ever tip. I try to avoid taking tables of African Americans because I feel like they treat me like a servant or something and they intentionally give me a hard time. Just this week, an African American family came in and they were so rude. The woman ordered me around, inventing stuff she wanted to order that wasn’t even on the menu and then giving me this attitude when we didn’t have shrimp to go with her deli sandwich. On top of that, at the end of the night, they didn’t tip me anything. I was so pissed and I asked my co-workers if this happens to them too. One of them (an African American guy) told me that he “hates waiting on black people” for some of the same reasons that I don’t like it. I was really shocked to hear him say that, especially because he’s African American himself. Dr. Pinnion, I thought that it was just because I am white that I seem to get treated badly by my African American customers. Am I racist to not want to wait on African Americans at my tables? Almost every one of the other servers I work with say that they feel the same. Are we ALL racists? HELP!
Sincerely,
Racially Frustrated
Dear Racially Frustrated,
If you were fighting the urge to join a White Power Yoga class, I would be more inclined to agree with your concern that you are a racist. From what I can tell, this isn’t the case. You have simply identified a working stereotype that seems to also have been recognized by your co-worker. By definition, a stereotype is aset of widely shared generalizations about a group of people. Give me an example you say? The generalization shared by you (and a lot of servers interviewed by First Team Cut) is that black people are known for not tipping. Other such stereotypes are that only Asian people own nail salons, the cashier at your local 7-Eleven is Arab, Hispanics make the most of automobile seating, and white people share a fondness for Birkenstocks, Duckhead khakis, and humus. Does this mean that every single individual of the aforementioned groups acts according to the stereotype? Of course not. But enough of ‘em sure do. There is a difference between racism and seeing firsthand the small amount of reality that gives a stereotype its staying power. If the stereotype says black people don’t tip, there has to be some instances of this phenomenon occurring. You have had enough black tables run you ragged and tip like garbage for you to have an aversion to that clientele demographic. However, I am quite certain that you are not aware of a severe medical condition that I have recently uncovered as part of my extensive research into why black people, among other groups, are miserable tippers.
My research, painstakingly completed over the last several years, has revealed that an alarming percentage of African Americans, Indians (red dot and feather), backwoods or “red-neck” Caucasians, and even many celebrities suffer from a condition called acute leviathanarticosis (Levi-uh-than-art-icosis). Derived from the Latin meaning “hand of the leviathan”, this condition is commonly known in medical circles as “Alligator Arms”. This acute genetic mutation causes a severe reaction when it comes in contact with certain stimuli, such as a restaurant server leaving the bill for the night on the table. This reaction constricts muscle fibers drastically, which in turn makes the host’s arms short, much like an alligator or crocodile, and thus preventing the afflicted individual from being able to reach one’s checkbook. The disorder can remain latent for long periods of time, until aggravated by a situation like having to tip, a request for a donation by the Salvation Army Santa, or when a friend wants to borrow a few dollars. And yes, this IS a real condition, with real doctors and real medicine.
Serious though it may be, suffering from acute levithanarticosis is not an excuse for overtly rude and abusive behavior, ordering a “Skrimp samich” in an Italian restaurant, or leaving doo-doo for a tip. But as a server, it may help you to understand that some of your least favorite customers are suffering from a medical condition. Try and find it in your heart to be sympathetic.
Regards,
Dr. Pinniun
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